


tbh (i'm completely and totally screwed)

by bucketfulloffandom



Category: JJCC (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hodgepodge, M/M, can you BELIEVE jesse beat me to being the first person to post sanco on ao3, gonna call it hodgepodge because of reasons, gotta call it something, i... me who raised this ship myself, ill be writing more in this au at some point so, smh, this is really gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-20
Updated: 2015-10-20
Packaged: 2018-04-26 09:50:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5000185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bucketfulloffandom/pseuds/bucketfulloffandom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Hadon has a crush, Youngjin is unhelpful, and Joonyoung is somehow unaware.</p>
            </blockquote>





	tbh (i'm completely and totally screwed)

**Author's Note:**

> listen sanco is my lifeblood i need this. so much.
> 
> like i mentioned im probably going to write more in this au (so we can see the rest of the members too) in the future but. we will see. for now, here is the sanco gays. enjoy.
> 
> kudos+comments are greatly appreciated, as always!

"Wait, let me get this straight," Youngjin says, that obnoxious grin spreading across his face. "You like _Joonyoung?_ "

Hadon rubs his eyes with the heels of his hands and sighs. "So what if I do," he deadpans. "What's it matter to you."

"Well, our Hadonnie has a crush, that's almost unheard of, this is important!" Youngjin leans forward in his seat, now grinning wolfishly. "How long's it been?"

Hadon glares at him from across the table. "None of your business," he mutters before taking a long drink from his boba. Youngjin raises an eyebrow. "Okay, like. A long time. Probably almost since we started to get to know each other."

Youngjin whistles appreciatively. "And you haven't said a word until now? Damn, man. So are you gonna do anything about it?"

"No," Hadon says, hastily and firmly. "I am not."

"You should. What could go wrong? Joonyoung's a nice guy." Youngjin jerks his cup in Hadon's direction for emphasis as he continues, "I think you two would look cute."

"Oh my god, shut up," Hadon says. "And stop throwing your drink around, you're going to spill it-" He cuts off when Youngjin's cup slips from his hand and its contents splash out all over the table and Youngjin himself. Youngjin shrieks. "Like that."

 

Hadon knows Youngjin isn't the kind of person to let someone's secrets out all over the place, which is why he's very much startled when, as he's getting his groceries checked out, the employee behind the register, a friend, Daehwan, remarks, "So you like Joonyoung?"

Hadon drops his bills, spluttering. "What- how do you-?"

Daehwan glances to make sure there's no customers waiting in line (and that there's no manager in sight), then smiles innocently, handing Hadon his change. "Figured it out. Youngjin is _really_ bad at, well, not being obvious." He laughs at Hadon's thunderstruck expression. "I don't know how he thought a text saying 'my son is growing up he is in love I'm so proud not naming any names but I approve' wasn't giving anything away. Joonyoung's the only one he would ever _remotely_ approve of."

"Since when does he call me his son, what the hell," Hadon says, taking his bagged groceries from Daehwan's extended hand. "And what's his problem? I thought he could keep his mouth shut."

"Maybe he's just really excited," Daehwan offers. "Not everyday you get a chance to play matchmaker with your best friend."

Hadon all but chokes. "He is _not_ playing matchmaker. He is just _not_." 

Daehwan just shrugs. "Good luck." Then, in the amicable, cringe-worthily friendly tone he uses for upset customers and senior citizens, he says, "Thanks for shopping with us, have a nice day."

Hadon grumbles. Daehwan stifles another laugh.

 

Hadon is awoken from a strange (but entirely plausible) dream (involving Youngjin crashing at his apartment and throwing a party at his expense) by his phone going off by his head where it had fallen when he had drifted to sleep last night. He drags a hand down his face, sighing heavily, and answers without looking at the caller ID.

"Morning, Hadon," a lilting voice hums. Hadon almost drops his phone. 

"H-hi, Joonyoung," he stutters. "What's- what's up?"

He can almost picture Joonyoung's bright smile as he replies, "Nothing much, I was just wondering if you wanted to hang out today. I know you probably want to sleep in and I would have called up Youngjin or Daehwan instead but Dae's working and Youngjin says he's busy, so..."

"No, no, it's fine," Hadon says, sitting up with a wince when something in his neck cracks. "I'd love- I'm fine with doing something today. I haven't really gotten out into town since last week anyways."

“Great!” Joonyoung sounds so excited Hadon can’t help but smile. “When and where?”

It doesn’t take long for them to figure out arrangements, and soon Joonyoung is hanging up with a cheerful “See you in a bit!” Hadon stares at his phone for a long while after the call ends, then buries his face in his hands and groans. He is so screwed.

 

 _Yeah,_ Hadon thinks, watching Joonyoung eagerly lick at his ice cream cone like a child. _Definitely screwed._

“Are you sure you don’t want some? This is _good_ ,” Joonyoung enthuses, offering his cone to Hadon. Hadon shakes his head maybe a little more hastily than need be. “If you’re sure.” Joonyoung returns to catching the drops melting down the side of the cone, and Hadon returns to staring very hard at the ground in front of him as they walk. 

It’s hot out, hot enough to make Hadon squirm in his thin hoodie, and in all honesty, he does regret not buying ice cream at that vendor back there, but it’s not like he’s going to take some of Joonyoung’s. He’d like that, but, well. He wouldn’t.

Therefore, Hadon can only be relieved when they stop at the park in the shade of some large trees and a slight breeze picks up. That relief is quickly replaced by mild panic when Joonyoung takes his hand and leads him over to the grass and sits them both down. He crunches down the last bit of his ice cream cone and turns to Hadon, hair falling into his eyes. Hadon forces down the strange feeling rising in his chest and returns his gaze.

Bad choice.

There’s a smudge of white on Joonyoung’s lower lip left over from his ice cream, and Hadon has the sudden urge to wipe it off for him. Of course, he doesn’t. Joonyoung’s tongue darts out and does the job, but this only makes the urge to do something, anything, that Hadon (being completely and totally screwed) has that much stronger. Joonyoung tilts his head and furrows his brows curiously when Hadon doesn’t so much as blink for a good half a minute.

“So,” Joonyoung says. Hadon starts, then nods as if Joonyoung actually said something warranting a response, flustered. Joonyoung laughs. (There goes Hadon’s heart, again.) "How's life been? I haven't just sat down and asked you that in a while. What's up?"

Hadon exhales heavily, glad to change the subject but reluctant to discuss this one. "My parents are getting tired of me not doing anything, but I still haven't managed to find something I actually want to do. Pretty sure they're going to stop sending me money any day now."

"Ah, yes," Joonyoung says, flopping backwards into the grass. He sweeps his arms in a grand motion, narrowly avoiding hitting Hadon in the face. "The joys of being two years out of college and washed up." He giggles a little. "I remember that feeling."

"And you're obviously well past that," Hadon replies sarcastically. "How's modeling going, anyways?"

"Awesome," Joonyoung gasps, enthusiastic. "I'm _good_ , Hadon—they love me."

 _They're not the only ones_ , Hadon thinks. "That's good," he says evenly. "Does it pay well?"

"Alright. I don't make as much as your allowance, Rich Boy, but I get by. In fact, I've started buying organic. Can you believe it? Organic? Me? I love this job." Joonyoung shakes his head to get his bangs out of his eyes and grins up into the trees. Hadon (being completely and totally screwed) is captivated. 

This is bad, he thinks. Very, very bad.

 

"Okay, just listen to me," Youngjin says. "I know what I'm doing. You'll be dating in no time."

"No," Hadon says. "No. I just. No."

Youngjin pouts. "You never listen to me." 

"That’s because I’d like to preserve my reputation and pride, thank you very much.” Hadon glances at his phone. “I, uh. I have to go.”

“What, already?” Youngjin narrows his eyes at him suspiciously. “Are you going somewhere?” He leans over and snatches Hadon’s phone out of his hand before Hadon can react. Hadon yelps. “Oh my god, is Joonyoung texting you?”

Hadon flushes crimson. “He- we’re just- he was just asking if I’m free today. I mean- it’s not- we’re just hanging out!” His voice rises in pitch at the last few words, as if he’s an elementary school student being teased about their crush. 

Youngjin’s familiar wolfish grin returns as he hands Hadon’s phone back to him. There’s a text onscreen from Joonyoung: _lets go out somewhere today hadonnie~~_. Hadon all but screams into his palms. He is never going to hear the end of this.

“Man, you say you don’t want to listen to me, but you’re already following my advice before you even hear it - I was gonna tell you to, you know, talk to him more, hang out with him and all that, but look at you! Way ahead of me!” Youngjin drags Hadon into a headlock and ruffles his hair like a father to his son, despite Hadon’s protest. “Way to go, man.”

“Let go of me,” Hadon says. Youngjin does so, but only after he affectionately musses Hadon’s hair beyond all hope. “Why do I put up with you.”

“Because I’m your best friend,” Youngjin says happily. Hadon can’t argue.

 

Somehow, one thing leads to another and Joonyoung takes Hadon out to dinner at a fancy restaurant, only a few more unpronounceable French or Italian dishes on the menu shy of the kind Hadon was dragged to with his parents and their wealthy friends when he was a kid. 

_to celebrate my first successful runway show!!_ Joonyoung texts in explanation when Hadon asks what the occasion is. 

_Blowing most of the money you earned from it on this?_ Hadon texts back.

_exactly ^^_

"Wow," Joonyoung whistles when Hadon steps up to his car, pulled up by the curb in front of his apartment building. "You look... nice. Usually you're just wearing whatever, but. Wow."

Hadon pulls at the collar of his dress shirt, suddenly feeling overdressed compared to Joonyoung's simple (but still stylish in the way only Joonyoung can be) outfit. "Is it too much? I didn't want to look too casual, that place we're going to _is_ pretty upperclass."

Joonyoung shakes his head as Hadon climbs into the passenger seat. "Nah, you're fine. You just... You look really good, Hadonnie."

Hadon feels a shiver run through him and heat in his cheeks at the words. "Are you saying I don't look good when I'm not dying under five pounds of formal attire?" he asks jokingly. 

"No, not at all!" Joonyoung protests, that pouting expression making its way onto his face. "You always look nice, it's just-" He makes a vague motion with one hand, the other still on the steering wheel. "This."

"Right," Hadon says slowly, though his heart is racing a thousand miles a minute. "This."

 

Hadon has a million opportunities that night to say the words he's had in his chest for ages, but not once does he voice them. There's plenty of times where he almost wants to, chances to just go for it, but Hadon (being completely and totally screwed) does nothing.

Joonyoung does most of the talking, rapidfire and constantly going from one topic to another in between mouthfuls of food whose prices Hadon winced at on Joonyoung’s behalf. He makes a mental note to ask the waiter for the bill when Joonyoung isn’t looking at some point.

Hadon realizes Joonyoung said something and is waiting for a reply, head cocked and eyes expectant. “Uh, sorry?”

Joonyoung laughs slightly. “You weren’t listening, were you?”

“No, I was just-” Hadon shuts himself up before he can say what he was about to: _I was just wondering why the hell I’m in love with you._ “Kind of?”

“I was saying, Youngjin started talking to me about the whole modeling business. Says he might be interested. Can you believe that? Kim Youngjin, a model?” Joonyoung lets out another laugh, a little loud for the quiet atmosphere of the restaurant. “He could do it, though. Maybe.”

Hadon shrugs. “Well, I wouldn’t know.” A sudden thought occurs to him, an image of Youngjin taking matters into his own hands and pulling Joonyoung aside in the middle of whatever models do to spill every secret Hadon’s ever admitted to him. Hadon inwardly wretches. “I mean… I guess. He’s kind of, uh, out there, but I guess.”

Joonyoung snickers. “That’s definitely true.” He looks around, then pulls his phone out of his pocket and swipes up on the lock screen to open the camera. “Hey, Hadonnie, we should take a picture. C’mere.” He’s already raising his phone into selfie position before Hadon can protest. “Commemorate, come on.”

Hadon would really rather not. But, it’s Joonyoung, and honestly, Hadon can’t say no. He raises one hand in a peace sign and smiles in a half-hearted manner at Joonyoung’s phone. Joonyoung grins. Hadon thinks his heart skips a beat.

 

“This is getting painful to witness,” Youngjin declares. “Just confess or something, before I do something myself.”

“If you do, I’m never paying for your food when we go out again,” Hadon deadpans without looking up from his phone. That shuts Youngjin up, but only for about half a minute before he starts up again.

“Look, I promise you he won’t, I don't know, crush your heart or something. I’m willing to bet money he won’t reject you, like, at all, and you know how I am with money,” he says, nudging Hadon insistently. “I won’t ever say anything about this kind of thing ever again if he rejects-”

Hadon glances sideways at him when he stop mid-sentence, then follows his gaze forward to see what he’s staring at with such surprise.

His heart leaps up into his throat.

Joonyoung is standing at the intersection only a few steps away, looking at something on his phone, his weight on one long leg and his other foot tapping on the ground rhythmically as he waits to cross the street. His hair is purposefully messy, bits sticking out in a way that looks almost bedhead-like (but Hadon knows Joonyoung must have spent a good fifteen minutes in front of the mirror arranging it). 

Youngjin pushes Hadon forward none too gently. “I don’t care how unprepared you are, do something right now,” he hisses. Hadon turns to snap at him, but Joonyoung’s looking up now, and Youngjin’s disappeared into the stream of passerby. Hadon is completely and totally screwed.

“Oh, hey!” Joonyoung lowers his phone and smiles widely at Hadon. “Fancy seeing you here. What’s up?”

Hadon shoves his hands into his pockets and shrugs, trying to return the smile and look Joonyoung in the eye without disintegrating into thin air. “Not much, I was just out and about, getting some air and all. You?”

“On my way to talk to some agents about another runway show opportunity,” Joonyoung replies triumphantly. “I’m so good at this.”

“Uh-huh,” Hadon says in agreement. The crossing signal turns to “walk”, and Joonyoung makes to step forward, but Hadon blurts, “When can I text you?” before he can stop himself. Joonyoung pauses with his foot half off the curb. “Tonight, I mean. I- I have something I need to tell you.”

Joonyoung’s lips quirk. “Um… anytime, really. I’m practically always free for texts, you know that. How about 7? I’ll expect something from you then.” His eyes crinkle into yet another smile that has Hadon wanting to melt into the pavement. “Talk to you later, Hadonnie.” With that, he steps out into the street, his strides turning into long bounds to get across before the walk signal turns red again. 

Hadon stares after him. He is most definitely, absolutely, completely and totally screwed.

 

It’s 7 PM. Hadon, laying on his back on the couch, the TV nothing but background noise he can barely hear over the blood roaring in his ears. He starts typing a new message, and thinks that this, this is the culmination of all the moments he’s thought that he is completely and totally screwed, that all those times have led up to him now, the words I have something to tell you in the text box, Joonyoung’s name at the top of the screen, a confession sitting at the tip of Hadon's tongue.

_I have something to tell you._

_ah, about time, i was starting to think you forgot about me :( what is it?_

_I…_

_you?_

_I like you a lot. I’ve liked you for a long time, and I never really wanted to say anything, but Youngjin kept insisting, you know how he is with that kind of thing. And Daehwan found out, which means Chanyul probably knows too, and for all I know you might already know, but I… I figured it was time to tell you myself. And obviously I could never say it to your face because sometimes I have a hard time even just having a casual conversation with you without dying, so there’s only this, I guess. I mean, I could have called, but I don’t think I would be able to get the words out. This is getting really long now, so I’m going to stop now. Sorry._

_TL;DR - I really like you, Joonyoung. I’m cringing at myself for saying this, to be honest, but I think I love you._

_…_

_oh_

Hadon feels like becoming one with his sofa. His phone vibrates in his hand, then, and there’s a single line of text. It’s a simple few words, but Hadon has to read it several times to make sure he’s getting it right.

_to be honest? i think i love you too_

 

Hadon may be completely and totally screwed, but maybe in the end, somehow, it's really alright.


End file.
